Read Between the Lines
by Cisselah
Summary: Okay, so maybe Ron's letter writing skills needs an update, but to his defense, Malfoy is a prick.


**~*Read Between the Lines*~**

**_written by: Cisselah_**

**_(Beater 2)_**

**_written for_**_ Cearphilly Catapults_**_ in _**_The Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition_

_**Prompts: 6 & 2**_

_**~*-.-*~**_

_29th June 2024,_

**_Ferret_**_ **Prat** To Malfoy_

First of all, I don't like you. In fact, I hate you, **you arrogant prat** but my wife tells me I can't insult you (even in a letter), so consider this a statement rather than a truth an insult. Just remember that I hate you.

Glad we're on the same page.

Secondly, because I **hate** don't like you, I want to inform you that Harry and Hermione is forcing me to write this letter. If I wanted to express my feelings about you saving my life I'd **punch you** **curse you** tell you straight to your face. I wouldn't write it down in some letter. Besides, you were the one that **screwed up** put it in danger in the first place **prat**. If you hadn't translated those runes wrong, I wouldn't have been standing in the middle of the **bloody**kill zone. Honestly Malfoy, I don't know how you managed to convince them to make you an Unspeakable in the first place.

Anyway, back to business.

It's about the John Teagan case. Harry wants to know what kind of runes where in the sacrificial chamber. He figures that Teagan was trying to do something horrible using dark magic, but none of the others wants to **pull their heads out of** listen. Harry figures that if he has an Unspeakable on his side they'll have to take him seriously **even if that Unspeakable is you**so can you hurry up with the translation and owl it to me before Monday? **Don't make me come over there and kick your scrawny**

As I'm sure you're already aware, Teagan has pleaded not guilty. Apparently, two strange wizards broke into his house using his key, stole his wand and killed those seven people with it. During the fifteen months this was happening, Mr. Teagan was locked in his basement. Despite seeing his captors numerous times, Mr. Teagan claims to be unable to recognize their faces. He keeps going on and on and on about some tricky memory spell called _Abracadabra. _None of the gents at the office has any idea what it is, even though Harry has quite adamantly argued that it doesn't exist. He wants you to back that up, since apparently hunches won't hold in court. Have the report on my desk before Monday.

By the time you're reading this, you've probably started to wonder why in Merlin's name I've sent a pair of disgusting muggle pants with this letter.

It's a funny story.

The pants belong to your son. I found them in my daughter's room yesterday. **Together with that bloody **

I found your son in the other end of the room. **Keep that boy in check or I'll break his**

I've returned your son (in one piece **although I considered using matchboxes**), so it's only right that I return the pants too.

And Malfoy? If I find your son (or his pants) in Rosie's room one more time, I won't just drag him out by the ear. This time you'll have to find another heir **because I will have **murder and possibly arrange a funeral **if I leave enough of him left for you to bury.**

**Whatever blasted spell your demon boy has enchanted my daughter with, I want it to go away. I've put up with that bloody boy for ages but enough is enough. I'm not going to become related to a Malfoy, you hear me? Being related to Percy is torture enough. Tell your blasted son to keep his fingers, lips, eyes, chest and every other part of him away from Rosie and his pants firmly around to his hips or I might permanently attach them there.**

**You think you've seen pain? Voldemort is nothing compared to me. Harry is nothing compared to me. In fact, Harry might even help. Albus might be Malfoy Junior's best friend, but Harry is mine and he loves Rosie like his own daughter. Can you imagine what he would do if he found out that the blonde little shit had fumbled around with her? I can't, and I've known the guy for over 30 years. **

**And if you think saving my life will stop me from ending your bloodline, think again. I'm gonna crush you so bad that your ba**

**So Malfoy, keep your son away from my daughter or I'll have to do something I won't regret but will possibly go to Azkaban for**

On a brighter note, Hugo tells me that Gryffindor beat Slytherin in Quidditch this year **so suck on that you ugly snake**. Apparently little Lily Potter stole the snitch from right underneath the evil Scorpius Malfoy's nose. How embarrassing. **It makes me happy to know it wasn't my son.**

On another subject, Hermione wants you to join us at the ball she's throwing this August. Apparently we need to put old grudges behind us and man up. She's under the impression that_ I_ was the one that jinxed your office last Thursday. And the week before that. And the week before the week before that. And the week before the week before the week before that.

I would never (although whoever did that must be smart and resourceful. It was quite the brilliant idea – and masterful spell work!).

The ball is on the 24th August. Wear fancy robes. Don't bring your **idiot** son (or your parents). Don't drink all the Firewhiskey and for Merlin's pink sock's sake… don't bring that bloody enchilada with you. I still have nightmares.

Also, I'm **forced to write that I'm** sorry.

And **th th tha**

Thank you.

And Malfoy – Harry wants me to tell you that your day off has been cancelled. You're helping us out with the Carlson Case instead. Tough luck.

_From _

_Senior Auror Ronald Billius Weasley, receiver of the order of Merlin first class, founder of Dumbledore's Army, co-manager of Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes, winner of Edleton's Eating Competition during the years 1999, 2004, 2006, 2007 and 2014._

**_Also, not a Death Eater._**

**_Edited out by: Hermione Weasley._**


End file.
